She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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