Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
