It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
