Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
