scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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