That's when you crack a 10am beer
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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