Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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