Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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