My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
