D3 body, D1 cock
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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