how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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