Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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