What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
