Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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