Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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