It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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