I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you didnt know i had herpes?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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