The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
