I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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