Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
