Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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