Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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