is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
