apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I just sharted jello shots
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
