I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
