At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
