I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
