it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
