blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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