Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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