i barfeds in our rink
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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