Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
