So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
