Walk of Shame. In a state park.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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