Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
