Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
