don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
two words: eviction party
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
