I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
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