who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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