She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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