Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
