your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
