hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
