Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize