I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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