I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize