He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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