doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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