You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
