i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
