Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
