so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
