im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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