covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
