these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
