420 ftw
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
