Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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