All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
