They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
