We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
