We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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