Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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